It is with very mixed emotions that we relay the following
update:
After months of thinking, praying and consulting legal
counsel (NOT PUBLIC PRETENDERS), Bellas mother attended what would be her final
court date in Lynn Juvenile Court this morning.
At this appearance, Chrissi made a very heartbreaking
decision to not prolong the case any further, as trial was not anticipated to
take place until mid- 2017 or later, and she signed the necessary documents for
Bella to permanently remain in her current kinship placement. Though this was
not the ideal or anticipated outcome we were all hoping for, this battle if far
from over. (More on that at a later date). Below are a few words from Chrissi.
"Today I made the hardest, most heartbreaking decision
that I never thought I would ever be faced with. I voluntarily signed away
rights to my first born baby girl. Had she been with strangers, this never
would have been an option for me. But she's not.
My life forever changed on May 2, 2014 and changed even more
today. I haven't led an easy life and far from perfect. But who's not? On May
2, 2014, I became a statistic....but not the kind I wanted to be. I always had
ambitions of one day becoming a famous, successful recording artist. The
chances of that? One in a million. I have so much unpublished poetry and even a
novel tucked away in boxes at my mother's house that I hoped would one day be
discovered. But you know what I became a statistic for? Another victim of the
Department of Children and Families, and Boston Children's Hospital. I am just
one of many parents who have faced the devil. One of many parents who tried
relentlessly to care for and protect my child just to have an overbearing,
broken, corrupt system see me as prey and swoop in like a hawk and forever change
my life and the outlook I once had on it.
From the moment DCF learned my family's name, we were young,
dumb, and low income...they saw opportunity. It's so easy to point the finger
and claim I was the cause of my daughters medical issues. Despite the fact that
she was struggling, but a fighter before she was born, and being a preemie,
she's expected to has issues. Resolving some of these issues is a lot of trial
and error. But a doctor can never be wrong, right? It's so much easier to point
the finger at a first time mom than a doctor admit that his suggestion simply
failed to improve a baby's condition.
Once they had my daughter, it was game on. They could do as
they pleased. In 2 years, they completely destroyed my life. When I was 13, I
became a survivor of sexual assault and domestic violence. I went through 5
years of therapy to process my PTSD and resulting diagnoses. I was discharged
from all Mental Health care at 18. When DCF learned this, 4 years after I had
found closure and continued on with my life, they claimed that I had
"untreated mental health issues" and therefore would be unable to
parent my now-healthy child as a result.
They wanted me to engage in services with a parent aid of
their choosing, but when she began reporting positive progress, they terminated
her services and insisted I was non-compliant with my service plan. How can I
be compliant when you remove the very services you're asking of me? Due to the traveling to see Bella, we were unable to
complete weeks of classroom parenting courses so we were offered the option of
online courses which we paid at our own expense. First they claimed they never
received the certificate of completion and then decided they would not be
accepting online courses and we MUST find classroom courses.
An ICPC was initiated in Alabama, which we passed with the
exception of the fingerprints which did not are their way back to the
appropriate office from Montgomery before DCFs tight deadline. Despite passing
the background checks later, the home study was rejected by Massachusetts due
to incompletion. DCF was not a fan of my husband and promised reunification
should I return home to my mother's without him. They promised me a date for
Bella to come home should I comply with their expectations. One of these
outrageous expectations was to take out a restraining order on a man that I
wasn't frightened or threatened by. I believe this to be because they wanted to
ensure I was still following their plan of staying at my moms without him. I
stupidly complied. This meant lying to a judge and consequently ruining the
life of my children's father. Before the expiration of the temporary order, I
went back to district court, disgusted with myself and told the judge I wasn't
in danger. I was pressured into filing. He immediately vacated the order, but
it will forever be on record. After learning of my "change of heart",
DCF said they would be willing to reunify as a family. We agreed and shortly
thereafter, the goal changed to adoption. We still remained compliant to prove
ourselves and bring Bella home.
When they learned of my pregnancy with Braelynn, I became
the target of further harassment. Alabama DHR conducting random home checks and
following up on "concerns" cited by Mass. Unfounded every time.
Eventually, the cost of travel became too much and I had to give up my rented
home to move in with my husbands family in order to save some money and afford
the travel. DCF then claimed the would be unwilling to entertain the idea of a
goal change back to reunification if we were not in our own home. I had to do
something fast. My mother in law in Georgia, whom I had only met a handful of
times since marrying her son told me of an open place next to her so I made the
leap and moved to Georgia to show DCF we had our own place once again.
This living arrangement was almost short lived when my
landlord witnessed sheriff's knocking on my door multiple times after I signed
the lease, but before I was fully moved on. Massachusetts sent the Sheriff's
Department to "confirm my residency" while I was still driving home
from a visit, so the sheriff Returned on multiple occasions in aggempt to make
contact with me. DCF further used the Sheriff's office to carry out
"surprise wellbeing checks" on Braelynn despite receiving the same
positive reports each time. My landlord was unaware of the DCF situation and
came to the conclusion the police kept coming around because we were problem
tenants. This almost caused the termination of my lease, but the Sgt explained
himself to my landlord and all further wellbeing checks were carried out by
him, at walmart in plain clothes. He apologized to me but said they're required
to follow up any time they're called.
Despite passing Georgia's homes study as well, this was not
good enough for DCF. In April, I attended the foster care review with my own
parents as support. Again DCF proposed I divorce my husband should I wish to
try again for reunification. Having been through this once before, I
hesitated...knowing they would not keep good on their word. Turns out, I was
right.
It came to light that DCF would not reunify so long as I was
with my husband, but if I were to leave him, they didn't think I would be able
to parent any of my children due to PTSD, anxiety and depression. The current
psychiatrist I am seeing, at the request of DCF firmly believes the anxiety and
depression is currently a direct result of the last 2 years of my battle with
DCF.
In the last 14 months alone, I have had to uproot Braelynn
multiple times and drag her 1400 miles one way for visits and meetings. We've
spent holidays on the road or in hotels because DCF would plan visits next to
but not during holidays. I couldn't get Braelynn on a schedule because every
time we would settle back in, we'd have to turn around and drive or fly back to
Massachusetts. In 14 months, my baby has spent hundreds of hours in a car seat
and seen just about every state up and down the east coast so we could fight
for her sister and see her for a few short hours. My healthy, early term
daughter has met with more caseworkers and examined by the same police officer
more times than she ever should have because DCF wanted a reason to grab her too.
We have pictures of Bella in the car, in the house, and
Braelynn's favorite word is "sissy". She knows her. We fought a hard
battle, but at the end of the day, it would have been another year or two of
instability and constant traveling and being a pawn for the government. That
much longer of having another state apologize each time they have to come see
me momentarily to assure DCF once again Braelynn is fine. More sporadic visits
and the heartbreak of saying goodbye all of again. Living my life with limitations
and under a microscope. All for a planned outcome. The judge had previously
stated in open court that he was "more than likely" going to side
with DCF at trial. If I faced termination, I would be restricted from any
contact with Bella until she's 18. By breaking my own heart and signing these
papers, she will stay in the kinship placement and I can see and interact with
her without interference from DCF. It's not how I envisioned this, but at this
point it was the only guarantee I would forever have a role in Bellas life
where she knows I'm her mother and will always know the truth about what
happened. It was better than the potential alternative. My girls will now have
the opportunity to grow up together. Just not in the way I envisioned.
This battle is far from over though. Bella may not be coming
home, but I will spend my life making sure DCF. BOSTON CHILDREN'S, DR MCDERMOTT
and everyone who plays a part pays for what they put my family through. I will
also stand alongside other families and support them in THEIR fight. I
struggled to find an attorney to take my case. I had finally found 3. But they
would not take it on a custody level as that's not their specialty, but I
promise...to me daughters and myself that this isn't over.
If you're still reading this, THANK YOU for all the support
you've given my family. I will never be whole again, but I find comfort in the
fact that I fought a good fight and my baby is still in my life. It's about
finding a new sense of normalcy now and just moving forward. Please hug your
children tight and tell them you love them, even on days where you just want to
rip your hair out. One day, they might come for you too.
Learn your rights and never be afraid to use them. That's
one of my only regrets. I'm not a perfect Mom, but my family didn't deserve
this.
That’s what true love is.
Always wanting what’s best for someone, even if that doesn’t include
you.
https://www.facebook.com/FightForBella/posts/1147837835257531
See: http://childnervoussystem.blogspot.com/2015/08/medical-kidnap.html?showComment=1447959800165#c5113916450116555110
http://childnervoussystem.blogspot.com/2015/08/medical-kidnap.html?showComment=1448853627355#c3525147790850408703
See: http://childnervoussystem.blogspot.com/2015/08/medical-kidnap.html?showComment=1447959800165#c5113916450116555110
No comments:
Post a Comment