DAYTON, OH—Unable to determine the root cause of the child’s complete emotional ineptitude, local parents Josh and Lindsey Stecher told reporters Tuesday it was unclear if their toddler Aiden’s social skills had been damaged by his isolation during the pandemic or if he was simply taking after Dad. “Sure, the reason he gets so nervous and freezes up in social situations could be because he’s spent so much time at home this past year, but he may also just be following in his father’s footsteps,” said Lindsey, explaining that the 1-year-old’s shy awkwardness and inability to make friends seemed “awfully familiar” and might have nothing at all to do with the fact that he had spent months staring at an iPad screen instead of playing with kids his own age. “On the one hand, Aiden is crippled with anxiety when he has to be around anyone besides me and Josh. On the other, it’s not really any different than what happens when I bring my husband to a party. I’m sure the quarantines take their toll, but so does being the child of a 38-year-old man who still hasn’t learned to maintain eye contact during a conversation and can’t get through an ordinary interaction like meeting a new neighbor without feeling embarrassed.” Regardless of what may have impaired his social development, the Stechers said they had resigned themselves to the fact that their son would grow up to be weird and painfully introverted just like his dad.
Courtesy of a colleague